Chosen for Rescue: Love That Prevails Over Disgrace

Sometimes I don't know what to say here and why. A million ideas seem important and insufficient all at the same time. Words mean a lot to me. People mean a lot more. My clients are never far from my thoughts and heart as I beg my fingers to say something one of them needs to hear. I pray as I write and write as I pray: Lord, let these words meet them where they are today.

Last year, I released my first book. It was compiled as an intimate collection of thoughts and questions during my time on the Threshing Floor with God. It is the story of how I fell to the floor and how I stood back up again. It is how I survived my journey through the wilderness of isolation and calling, and the reason I am able to help other women today. The book contains 44 raw entries all about distinct ways we are chosen and the beautiful and crushing way of how I came to learn them.

Yesterday, as I was asking the Lord what to write about this week, I heard 3 words: chosen for rescue. I knew right where to go... back in time to reach for one of you.

I don't know who you are or from what you need rescuing, but I know the God who rescues, so I will trust the inclination I feel to include this entry of Chosen: The fire of intimacy with the Lord of the harvest here for you.

Chosen for Rescue

So Jesus said to the twelve, “Do you want to go away as well?” Simon Peter answered him, Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life…” John 6:67-68 (ESV)

The guilt of those early days, knowing that I was with Him only because all my other options were gone, wasn't enough to deter me from going to Him. That's how much His love prevailed over my disgrace, my thoughts, my desires. He didn't seem to care how guilty I was. Why not? His absolution frustrated me; I was grateful yet discouraged in my attempts to convince Him of who I had become through all the years of disappointments and failures and embittered pleas that fell on His deaf ears and my dead heart.

But He couldn’t be persuaded.

Why didn't He care that I was only there because of what I had lost, that I had nowhere else to turn, and not because of my own willingness to give Him my life before I forced His hand to take it? I grappled with this for maybe a year or more, begging Him to let me love Him for the sake of who He was and not because He was runner-up. I wanted to love Him so badly. I couldn't stand the thought of being the recipient of so much affection when I knew why I was there and that my preference had been for other things.

Day after day, the question would arise in my fearful, soiled heart that if the conditions were right and I heard the familiar knock, would I answer or would I stay with Him? I didn't know my answer, so in the most tender display of love and protection, He made sure the question was never asked.

He erected a barrier and told me that the hedge I saw was as close to my past as I was going to get. I was sad to see it go. I was relieved to know I didn't have a choice. He was going to do it all, and at this point, I was going to let Him. I needed Him. I wanted Him. I didn't realize how totally His I was and that, despite what I had thought, He reminded me that the choice was mine to run to Him.

What? I had forgotten!

I had forgotten that before everything crashed around me, I looked up one night vacant of soul to say,

"I'm in too deep here. You're going to have to come and get me if You want me."

That was all His Father's heart needed to hear as He passionately and expeditiously orchestrated my rescue, a covert mission that had been on His heart since the beginning of forever. Of course He wanted me! How could I not know?

How could I not see the blinding passion that far outweighed any tug of the past?

The Threshing Floor

You wouldn’t be here with me right now if you didn’t want Him, too. Don’t beat yourself up for where you’re not yet. He called and you’re here, just as clumsily and sloppily as the rest of us.

Have you ever felt so guilty over something that you felt like you couldn’t face God because of it? Would you write it down and face Him now?

When you think of all the reasons you can’t or shouldn’t be loved by Jesus, and then realize that He isn’t persuaded by any of your reasons, how does that make you feel? Doubtful? Overjoyed? Confused? Relieved? Something else?

The Bible says, “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us” (Romans 5:8, NIV).

Not while we were repentant, contrite, sorry, asking for forgiveness, doing good, loving everyone, reading our Bibles, or wanting Him. It says while we were still in the condition of our sin, when we wanted Him the least, when we despised the way of the Cross, He died to bring us near to Him because He loved us so.

Because He loved you so, and He couldn’t be persuaded not to.

Smile, breathe, and sit in that thought for a little while.