The Stories from My Pews: "Cripples in Charismatic Circles/Churches"

I asked my friend to tell us what it was like to exist in the church as someone who is disabled. She graciously obliged. Please read her words with care, self-reflection, and sobriety. This is not to point fingers but to call us all to do better. Here's what she had to say:

Cripples in Charismatic Circles/Churches

There is much stigma, conflict, and shame in charismatic circles surrounding disabilities and illnesses. One thing I’d like people to know is how uncomfortable it can be for us to walk into a church or event knowing that everyone (often complete strangers) will want to pray for/over us. What is so wrong with that, right??

Well, this causes many issues, starting with the fact that Christians (yes, even leadership) will tell us that if we are not being healed, maybe we are not actually saved (this is a VERY real thing that many disabled people face when trying to plug into churches). Or, even if we ARE saved, perhaps we are not receiving healing because we do not have enough faith (again, this is VERY real).

The Bible never states that possessing enough faith means we will NEVER have disabilities, struggles, or trials. In fact, quite the opposite is promised. (John 16:33, Romans 5:3-5, Acts 14:22, James 1:12, James 1:2-4, Romans 12:12, Psalm 34:19-20). In Psalm 38 David offers up a litany of his sufferings. 'There is no health in my body,' he laments. His wounds 'fester and are loathsome,' his back 'is filled with searing pain.' Was that due to a lack of faith?

Another thing most people are unaware of is ETTIQUETTE. If you truly feel that you must pray for someone, please make sure God is leading that desire and PLEASE ASK before praying over someone, ESPECIALLY if you want to touch the person!

Not all people who are sick, injured, or disabled desire or are comfortable with touch, whether in general or in prayer specifically. That is OK, and that is something to RESPECT.

It is NOT okay to accuse someone of needing deliverance if they do not desire to be touched by you, in that moment, or ever! It is THEIR body, and just because you think you are laying hands in a Godly, spiritually sound manner does not make it so, and even if it does, may cause that person to shut down.

We all need to realize that not everyone was raised in a safe and healthy home, and church is not always a safe and sacred place. YOU HAVE NO WAY OF KNOWING SOMEONE’S HISTORY. The Church should be a safe place for everyone, so please let it be! Do not assume that someone will verbalize their discomfort, and please do not place the responsibility on them to have to say so. We should all be allowed the space to feel safe and heal with Jesus in our own ways.

Just like we (or most of us) know that it is inappropriate to approach a pregnant woman and touch her belly, can we PLEASE normalize not approaching every person we see and assuming they want us to touch them?

Please realize that most people with visible disabilities have been prayed over time and again. We have been pushed, guilted, pressured, and blackmailed into accepting prayer more times than we can count. We have been asked as the one praying looks on intently if we FEEL healed yet, and to give a percentage of how healed we feel so far. This leaves us feeling pressured to lie, hide, or smile and nod that we feel great, to make YOU feel better that you prayed, and it is EXHAUSTING.

I would like to ask people to examine WHY they feel the need to pray over the person? Yes, we are called to pray for our brothers and sisters, but it doesn’t mean we need to approach everyone. All persons are FULLY capable of praying from where they sit. I serve a MIGHTY God who does not even need to be in the room to heal and perform miracles (John 4:46-53).

Sometimes it seems that people want to pray over the visibly disabled out of a self-seeking sense of pride that their faith and prayers are what will heal us (we should all search our hearts on this). Again, if God places a burden to lay hands on someone or pray directly, then of course follow that prompting. However, you STILL NEED TO ASK them. If they decline, pray for them from afar and release it to God.

Many of us in the disabled community have had our rights and dignity stripped from us so many times that we understandably struggle to receive. If you are truly moving within God’s will in the moment, either the person will be at peace OR you will be at peace to pray on your own over their situation. Again, make sure your desire is not to target someone so that they are healed, but to simply walk in His will. And make sure that you are praying for THEM, not to make yourself feel better about the situation or their struggles.

Many who are disabled in the Christian world are used to spiritual gaslighting, manipulation, and more. We are used to having not only our faith discredited, but our giftings overlooked or ignored; however, God does not see our limitations because in our weakness His power is made perfect (2 Cor 12)."

Thank you, my friend. We hear you.