The Surrender of Transition: What It Is, What It Feels Like, and What To Do When It Happens to You

What is happening to me?!

Women come to me for all kinds of things, from family and marriage problems to career issues to questions about their relationship with God and the church. Anything is up for grabs, but by the end of the first session, it usually comes down to this in some way: “I feel like I’m in some kind of a transition, and I don’t know what to do.” And then they reach for the Kleenex.

I’ve watched this pattern so much that if she doesn’t use the word ‘transition’ or something akin to it at least once by the end of our first hour together, I start to wonder if she’s in the right place.

In one of my former jobs, I was the Transition Liaison at a non-profit religious organization. It was going through a complete overhaul—a name change, branding change, personnel change, and geographical change. Everything that could change was changing.

As part of the process, old files needed to be canvased, exorbitant piles of papers needed to be shredded, new ways to archive needed to be devised, inventory needed to be taken, new staff needed to be hired, and old staff needed to be let go. It was a mess. The past thirty years had been fruitful, but the limits of where they could go on an old operating system had to change. They needed an upgrade, and the only way they could get it was to walk through a very uncomfortable shift (and sift) season.

I loved my title because I love transition. I love it for what it yields, and I love it for what it kills:

the places that need to die

so that Jesus can become more alive

in us.

Transition seasons are reordering seasons, and they can feel very much like a death, which, in many cases, is what they are.

If you’ve ever been in one, you don't need anyone to confirm that for you! Everything seems to be going along just fine, and then one day you find yourself in no man’s land without so much as a map or guide to lead you out. There is no panic button and no alarm to sound except the one screaming from inside you.

I get it, and I want to help ease the pain a little if you find yourself here.

So, let’s talk transition today: what it is, what it [bloody] feels like, and what we’re supposed to do in it.

What is Transition?

Transition comes from the Latin word ‘transire,’ which means to go over or cross; or – and this is pretty cool - to pass the limit.

We can think of transition as the undefined space between where we’ve come from and where we’re going. If you are in a transitional phase, be encouraged—it signifies that you have passed the limits of where you were. You outgrew that space, and now you’re crossing over into a new set of circumstances or characteristics. It may be painful to leave where or who you’ve been, but never as painful as it would be to stay where you no longer fit.

Transition is not a punishment by any stretch—although that’s sometimes what it feels like—but it’s a reward of our faithfulness and growth.

What Transition Feels Like

If you’ve ever been in a marked transition season, you might describe it as murky, lonely, confusing, silent, monotonous, never-ending, like the air just got sucked out of the room, or like you’re spinning in a vortex you can’t seem to stop or escape. You have no idea where you’re going, but you just know you can’t stay where you are.

The most dramatic transition season in my life felt like God had led me into the wilderness to suffer a lonesome and gory death all by myself. It was a death, but I wasn’t alone. I can see that on the other side now. It’s hard to detect God’s presence sometimes when He’s hovering so closely that it feels like there is only one of you in the room. That’s not distance though; that's intimacy.

What To Do When You’re In Transition

First, don’t panic and second, don’t bail! You’re not doing anything wrong. How you handle it will determine how well you make it to the other side. Let this blog prepare you to go through it well if you feel transition is on the horizon for you or your family or if you’re in one now and feel lost or stuck.

Remember, transition is good; you are crossing over into something new because you’ve passed the limits of where you’ve been! While you are here, it will be tempting to try to make important decisions, launch a new business, fill your time with mindless or busy things, or continue with life as usual, but that is not the work of transition.

The most important decision you can make in in this place is to surrender how you think it should go or how quickly you'd like to move through it. In my experience, it is like a metamorphosis—it happens in the dark, and God will turn on the lights when it's time. Our responsibility is to bow down and surrender because life is changing, and that change begins with you. You are becoming something new.

Here are a few things I know about transition:

1. It is a well-protected season, so not everyone is allowed in.

2. It can feel lonely and scary.

3. God often reveals new vision for your life here.

4. It doesn’t last forever.

5. It usually has a marked beginning and end.

You are not in the wrong place, and you haven’t done anything wrong to land yourself here. This was God calling you. This is the answer to the prayers you’ve been praying, even if it doesn’t feel like it in the moment. What you do here is everything.

Go low. Surrender. Get quiet. He’ll call you out and up when it’s time.